G Em C D

      G                  Em         C             D
Well, here's a song I've written specifically for you
    G              Em           C                  D
Who sit inside the audience and talk through all I do
   G          Em                 C                D
I cannot understand it cause I'm pretty good, you see
         G                 Em                      C                  G
So there must be something wrong with you, there's nothing wrong with me


[Chorus]
         G             Em              C         D
You're a bloody rotten audience whilst I am very good
   G                   Em               C                D
If brains were made of oak and ash then you'd have balsa wood
     G           Em              C                D
I'm ethnic and authentic and I'm really full of class
             G                Em                  C               G
While you're ignorant, you're cultureless, you're philistines en masse


[Verse 1]
       G            Em         C                D
I'm an artist and authority on music and what's more
      G           Em          C                D
I'm incredible informative on folksong and folklore
      G             Em        C               D
I'm a wonderful performer and so you all must be
   G                Em            C                G
So bloody thick and stupid not to like the like of me


[Chorus]
         G             Em              C         D
You're a bloody rotten audience whilst I am very good
   G                   Em               C                D
If brains were made of oak and ash then you'd have balsa wood
     G           Em              C                D
I'm ethnic and authentic and I'm really full of class
             G                Em                  C               G
While you're ignorant, you're cultureless, you're philistines en masse


[Verse 2]
      G                  Em              C             D
I'm a folkie and that's obvious, you can tell it by me clothes
    G               Em         C                  D
And when I sing traditional, I sing it through me nose
       G              Em          C             D
And if you insist on talking everytime I sing a song
     G                  Em                  C             G
I'll fix you with 'Bold Robin Hood', that's eighty verses long


[Chorus]
         G             Em              C         D
You're a bloody rotten audience whilst I am very good
   G                   Em               C                D
If brains were made of oak and ash then you'd have balsa wood
     G           Em              C                D
I'm ethnic and authentic and I'm really full of class
             G                Em                  C               G
While you're ignorant, you're cultureless, you're philistines en masse


[Verse 3]
    G              Em            C                 D
And when I sing contemporary, me heart and soul is pure
  G              Em                  C              D
I must be bloody brilliant, cause me writing's so obscure
   G              Em       C              D
My hero's Leonard Cohen, I dig him perfectly
      G               Em              C                G
But I must be so much better, because no-one here digs me


[Chorus]
         G             Em              C         D
You're a bloody rotten audience whilst I am very good
   G                   Em               C                D
If brains were made of oak and ash then you'd have balsa wood
     G           Em              C                D
I'm ethnic and authentic and I'm really full of class
             G                Em                  C               G
While you're ignorant, you're cultureless, you're philistines en masse


[Verse 4]
    G                Em                 C                D
But now I'm going to leave you, cause I feel I'm wasting time
         G           Em                    C               D
Couldn't possibly be wasting yours, so you must be wasting mine
    G               Em               C               D
And let me tell you now that I'm not out here for me health
      G                  Em                 C             G
So if you don't come and pull with me, I'll go and pull meself


[Outro]
         G             Em              C         D
You're a bloody rotten audience whilst I am very good
   G                   Em               C                D
If brains were made of oak and ash then you'd have balsa wood
     G           Em              C                D
I'm ethnic and authentic and I'm really full of class
      G                  Em      C                    G
But underneath it all I'm just a pain in the flipping arse