Grandpa: So Jimmy, I hear you're headed off to college next year
Jimmy: Yup, that's right, grandpa!
Grandpa: (chuckles) Oh, I remember college like it was yesterday
Jimmy: Really!? What was college like back in 2020?
Grandpa: Well Jimmy, I attended Zoom university

So I been rolling outta bed at like 2:30 PM
And now I'm trying to go to class, but I can't even get in
My teacher like 65
I swear she don't got a clue
I think she's tryna give a lecture, but this bitch is on mute
So I said fuck that I'm about to call up my boys
And we were playing Minecraft when suddenly I heard a noise
My teacher asking do you know the powerhouse of the cell
But I said the sorry mam this diamond ain't gon' mine itself

Cause I don't wanna go to school but
There ain't nothing else to do so
I'ma just hop on zoom now
Man what the fuck am I doing

But honestly, maybe this quarantine ain't so bad
I'm smoking gas inside my bedroom while she's teaching me math
My momma knocking at the door, asking what's going on
I said it's all for science class, then I showed her my bong
But now I'm bored and kinda horny stuck inside of this classroom
I raised my hand and say I gotta go to the bathroom
My teacher getting mad, told me sit the fuck down
But I don't really give a damn she can kiss my nuts now
I open up another tab, and you know I'm on xvideos
Searching for big titty hoes who also got some pretty toes
Finally, saw the perfect one I'm rubbing on my peepee
Then I realize my camera's on and everyone can see me
Man this shit wack
Fuck this class
I'm about to dip
Every single person in this room just saw my fucking dick
But there's no need to cry, I realized that everything is fine
They can't kick me out of school if all the class are online

Cause I don't wanna go to school but
There ain't nothing else to do so
I'ma just hop on zoom now
Man what the fuck am I doing